Hi everyone! It’s Kitty again! Today is part two of DDLG From A Distance! If you haven’t read my first post, go ahead and clickyclicky so you can see some ideas of things you can do with your caregiver even from a distance!
Today, we’re going to talk about being in a little headspace and putting pieces of DDLG into the relationship. Please note: These are things that are my own opinion and experience. Every relationship’s dynamic is different and there’s no set rule-book to how DDLG should be. Keep your sparkles and manners up, and negative comments down, let us get started!
Now, the hardest thing I find for people who are long distance in the DDLG scene is having the struggle of incorporating aspects of the DDLG lifestyle in a way that it still works and feels good. Being in little space is such a vulnerable time in a Littles day that it can be really difficult to deal with being in the headspace when you’re physically alone. I know that myself personally I can be a very physically clingy person when I’m in little space. Sometimes I really just wanna latch on and not let go. I also really like my back rubbed and my hair played with, it adds a soothing quality to the headspace and allows me to just relax and be myself. But being in a long-distance relationship, it is sometimes a very empty feeling because I can’t get those things that I need. However, there are absolutely ways that I use to cope with the distance when I’m in little space and it helps a whole lot.
So for the most part, I think that every little knows how to put themselves into a little headspace or knows something that just kind of triggers it for them – even if it’s just a tiny bit. For me, it’s sometimes cartoons or I will open my little cabinet which hides my paci’s and coloring books and stuff like that. Looking in there and seeing my stuff can really just throw me right into the headspace so I have a few tiny triggers and some bigger ones.
When I’m in little space and I’m feeling particularly clingy and the biggest thing that has helped me in the past is jumping into a discord call with Daddy. Whether it’s us looking at each other, only me seeing him, him seeing me, or whatever the case is, just being in his presence is something that is very, very, very comforting for me. Even if he’s not feeling very conversational, just being on the line with him is enough.
Having my stuffies is also a really big deal as I have a pretty large one that I can give a really big hug to and that’s kind of like my stand-in for Daddy. (Appa is the best!!!) Associating my biggest and most huggable stuffie with my Daddy has really helped lessen the lonely factor because I can just get into bed and cuddle with that stuffie and be like ‘this is Daddy and I feel really good’.
While I am cuddling the stuffie and in a call with Daddy, he will further reinforce the headspace by saying things like, “oh are you cuddling me baby girl?” or “why don’t you go lay in bed and snuggle with me”, which further pushes me into that little space and also helps reaffirm the association between daddy and stuffie. It’s a huge comfort. Huge.
Another thing that helps with the distance and being put into that headspace by him are certain phrases that might not sound like a lot, but can end up doing so much!!! Using little phrases such as, “you’re too small to do that” or maybe something like, “look at how cute daddy’s little princess is today”, things like that are really helpful to push me into the proper head-space.
Being able to trigger your little’s little space even while apart is so important! Communication is key, and everyone has different things that put them into that headspace. What are yours? Leave a comment below!!!
One of the biggest questions I see get asked is:
How do I enforce punishments, keep my little accountable, and have the dynamic?
“MWAHAHA! You’ll never get me to do it, Daddy!” This is me every time Daddy tries to punish me. Being long distance makes it harder sometimes for me personally to take things seriously. That or I find getting out of a punishment to be easy. I find that when there is distance involved in my relationship I am a much larger brat since my Daddy can’t just bend me over his knee or hop on over to my place. That brings us to the question of what punishments can we still do from a distance, and how do we put them into an effect?
- Writing lines: I absolutely can not stand writing lines. They’re awful and terrible and just UGH. When Daddy even hints at this being possible for punishment I run and run, fast. When punished with lines, I do them on webcam where he can see and I also photograph them to show that I have completed them.
- Note: Daddy knows my limits and does allow me to take breaks. And if I feel a punishment is unfair or too far ex. 78 lines that really was three sentences; he allows me to talk to him about it. If he feels like he agrees, he adjusts. If he doesn’t well… my hand hurts!
- Hand signals: Because Daddy and I webcam so much, it allows us to work on hand signals. Kneel, sit, undress etc. It is fun to be talking on camera and be told to kneel. Sometimes he makes a game of it to see how long it takes for me to notice since I am a bit… distracted as a person haha. But he will make me practice every now and then. For punishment, he will make me do them over and over again. Granted, it’s not really that much of a punishment, or even one at all, but it can be really annoying and inconvenient when it interrupts things I’m doing haha. This is something done over webcam so it can be seen.
- Chore Monster: I love this application, oh my kitty cats! Chore Monster is an app that focuses on rewarding for chores. Your caregiver makes a parental account and then adds you under them. They can make their own chores, determine points, and they then can create redeemable rewards! It is AWESOME! You can ensure those chores are really done by sending pictures of before and after, turning on the webcam to be watched.
- Create a schedule/routine: Creating a routine is going to make life easier for everyone. Using a shared calendar to keep track of each others lives is going to lay the foundation for creating that routine! For me personally, in the past, I had a weird work schedule. So my Daddy made sure that I would get to bed at a reasonable time. And maybe not asleep yet, but at the very least in bed by X time. Then I got about 30 min to wind down and just…sleep. Other things the schedule helps with is knowing when each of you is busy. Maybe birthday plans or hanging out with friends, class etc. Make sure to talk about these things! It’s going to take a bit to get used to updating each other on it, but you’ll get it!
- Corner Time: As a brat, this is something that I have had to experience often. Corner time is just… ugh. Put on the webcam, make sure I set a timer on my phone. I can’t hear or talk to Daddy. Nothing. Just face away from the camera and stand until my timer goes off. Often times I bring a stuffie to lean against the wall with.
But what about inducing a little space while you’re gone, or even around?
- Asking your little to color! A huge thing that many, many littles love to do is color! Asking them to color you a picture while you’re gone at work, can bring such squeaky smiles! An eagerness to please their caregiver in such a simple way, doing something they love? YES PLEASE! I love coloring, and the best part is that they even have apps for coloring!!!!
- Different hairstyles and outfits: When I wear my hair in piggie tails, or twin buns oh my gosh! I look so cute! Add some bows, a cute little frilly skirt, and some knee highs? LITTLE SPAAAAAAAAAAACE! There are just some outfits that look so adorable, so cute, and just so little that we can’t help but squeee!!!!
- Small task list: Giving your little a tiny task list to do for you to come back to can make them feel very submissive, and the praise that you should be rewarding them with should be over the moon! Tell her to brush her teeth and she comes back boasting she did it? Tell her she gots them good pearly whites! Have her brush her teeth to Shiny Teeth too! It’s an awesome fun song!!!
As you can see, there are quite a few different ways that you can incorporate your little/caregiver time. Just the most basic things and touches can induce it. And it’s all about communicating! Find out what makes your little just shrink down into that ooey gooey little you love so much!!!!
Comment down below with the ways your caregiver makes you get all cute and little! If you’re a caregiver, how do you do it?!